Thursday, December 11, 2003

Carpe Diem

from Whitman
O me! O life! of the question of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless,
of cities fill'd with the foolish...
What good amid these O me, O life?

Answer
That you are here--That life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
KEATING in Dead Poet's Society
"That the powerful play goes on,
and you may contribute a verse."
What will your verse be?

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

maybe it's just me...

Thoughts about [re]thinking leadership, preaching, community and such.....I think that often times (we) I can get caught up in talking about this [way] of doing/being church for today. Conversations, articles, emails, comments, whole websites and so on about ‘house’ church vs. ‘traditional’ church. ‘Leadership’ vs. no ‘leadership’. ‘Preacher’ vs. no ‘preacher‘.

Notice the ‘vs.’....

I know that a lot of folks' blog, mine has been one of them, is used often to rant about this or that. It lets us get some frustration out. There is a problem that can occur. If a lot of my resources and conversations are on the internet and via these blogs....starting out, I can be ‘taught’ that it has to be one or the other by the same folks who are saying “we are one”.

Bill’s posted some quotes from Bonhoeffer’s "Life Together":
"The man who fashions a visionary ideal of community demands that it be realized by God, by others, and by himself. He enters the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own law, and judges the brethren and God Himself accordingly. He stands adamant, a living reproach to all others in the circle of brethren. He acts as if he is the creator of the Christian community, as if his dream binds men together. When things do not go his way, he calls the effort a failure. When his ideal picture is destroyed, he sees the community going to smash. So he becomes, first an accuser of his brethren, then an accuser of God, and finally the despairing accuser of himself.”
I went through a period, and I am still trying to shake it off, where I felt that the way this local ‘traditional’ church does things is completely wrong and that they should try doing it this way. I felt as though what I saw going on in the ‘emerging’, ‘simple’, ‘house’ church thing was the best possible answer to all the problems that were at FBC and any other church for that matter.

What I realized is that all these conversations, the blog posts were from people with names and faces and stories of there own who are on a journey. They sometimes will post some frustrations. They sometimes will right articles and be wrong. A lot of those in this sphere are part of church planting movements and new church plants and they are just having an honest conversation on how to do things. Asking how leadership should look in there context. Should they have a pastor. So on and on....

The problem I think has come in when persons or groups come up with answers for there specific community or culture and feel it is THE answer. They go about telling it to everyone and trying to sell their “ideal of community”. We all do this at some point. May God forgive us for missing the point.

If what I (we) are doing isn’t pointing to The One....it is pointing to ourselves probably.

In my situation, I see that a lot of people need to separate there idea and experience of ‘church’ from God. Those who do not know God are not going to be able to do this. Those of us who have a problem talking with him often enough are going to have a problem too. A lot of people’s only experience of ‘church’ has been a very impersonal ‘service’ on a Sunday morning. Maybe someone telling them what not to do and how not to live. A sermon. An organ. What needs to happen is that they need to come in regular contact with people who are going to love them. People who are going to be willing to share time and effort and meals and coffee and beer with them. People who’s lives point to the God that they follow. What ever context this happens in....that works! That is what I want to focus on. I am sorry I’ve wasted sooo much blog space missing and time missing the point.

“as above, so below”

“Keep us safe from ourselves”

“Yes. Yes. Yes.”

grouchy, but only for a stint

The world tells me I need a college degree to get a job that takes up 75% of my time to buy a house that’s too big, two too many cars, a large screen TV and all kinds of other stuff I don’t really need.

The world says I am failing as a person and a father because my little family lives with my parents. I don’t have a degree or any special skills to get a high paying job so I will always make a ‘small’ income they say. They say that I need to do a lot and get a lot of things to be successful.

They say a lot.

I think they say wrong.

I may get a college degree someday. I may spend the whole of my life studying in academia after some point, but it will not be to get a lot of products that are not necessary to life and were probably made somewhere in Asia by an overworked, underpaid, sexually harassed 13 year old who doesn’t have the luxury of buying those same products because he’s saving up to buy his sister back out of prostitution.

The world and some of my family will tell me that taking courses through a means that does not offer a degree that will get me that job that will get me that stuff is pointless.

I don’t think it is me who’s off the mark here.

I let myself get held down by this way of thinking. Sometimes for minutes....sometimes for weeks.

No more!

We have made some mistakes, but....ahh!.... My little family is moving forward with there lives together. No, we don’t know exactly what we are doing a lot of the time. But we sure as Heaven know what we are not going to do.....

If you don’t like the way we live....cool. There’s still a place at our table set for ya’.

Point Blank

I need the shepherding, the guidance, the direction and discipling to examine my own life.

If I am ever going to be a leader, the father I want to be or involved in any church planting in the future I need to examine my life and be open to the possibly painful metamorphosis that will ensue.

How does my life affect yours? My children's? My wife's? Anyone's?

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Just In

Now, I don’t know exactly WHAT all of you prayed back in October when we had problems, but….hee hee…WE ARE PREGNANT AGAIN!!!! (six weeks is what the doctor is guessing) - I JUST found out…

As you can imagine we are a little worried. Please pray.

“Yeah baby!”

MMM It's Goood

This recent conversation with brad and bill has woken me up a bit. It stirred me.

I am, today, content with being on the journey. I’m ok with the fact that I am asking questions. Not always getting answers, but more often just more questions.

“It’s gooood!” -my attempt at a Bruce Almighty impression

Good coffee this morning! Shade grown, organic and fair trade and it’s yummy! (no plugs for the brand this time)

Actually this is all I’ve been drinking for months. My concience wont let me do otherwise. That’s ok though bc it is soooooo yummy.

yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy

asking-seeking-traveling

I have been told that I am asking good questions....I hope I continue if that is so.

In Bill’s comments Matt wrote,

“Your assignment: LEAD ME TO FOLLOW CHRIST
My assignment: LEAD YOU TO FOLLOW CHRIST”

I think that’s pretty on. I believe the problem comes when I or you think that we know the ‘best’ way to do that. I [need] it done in a day-to-day basis in the context of personal, living life together, sharing meals kinda thing. Who knows me better and what I need than the folks who are going through it with me.

Our problem in our church now, with all those people with names, faces and stories of there own, is that all we focus on is the same old Sunday ’service’ and that’s about it. A Sunday night thing here and there, but...how is it that that is community? Stand up-sit down-turn around-say hello-and out ya’ go. How is it that that is the only way we are to get to know each other and love each other as God has commanded.

When that is all ’church’ and Christian community has been for me it really sucks. I just want to live life with people who are asking those questions too! People seem afraid of them here. “We’ve always done it this way.” Yea I know.

I don’t know. Everyone is just too damn busy for us here. I want to be involved with a Christian community on a daily basis. With people with names, and faces and stories of there own. I know that takes time though. We need to be with others who realize that time with each other 'hearing stories, shedding tears and telling stories' is for the edification of all. That is Church.

I’m all about having a good teaching or preaching or “info-download” time, but I think when church, our relationships, our community is based around that, it is...(sigh)...not for me. I don’t think that having a ’speaker’ even once a week would bother me so much if there was more to my church/Christian community experience.

We could be wrong about a lot of things.

This could get messy.

We'll keep asking, seeking, and traveling though.

Saturday, December 06, 2003

pieces of old posts....simple....but they are me

"Lord Jesus I pray that it is not any agenda of my own that I aspire to. Your will be done. Please help me to get off of my butt and out into the world around me that you may touch lives. Help me to not hide it under a bushel or under a steeple. Please make yourself real and visible in my life that others may see. I can do nothing without you. Guide me Father for I feel so lost. Use us to go to those places and those people who are not being reached by the traditional Church. Please bring some people in to our lives that will guide us and challenge us to seek God. Help us to love 'em all. Even when they're as messed up as we are. Thanks for being here even when we're lookin' the other way."

*******


"I want to light a candle and have some time with God. I want to go sit down with a cup of coffee and talk about my kids. My wants. My hurts. I want to listen to you. I want to serve the Lord! Full-time."

*******


"I don't know what God has in store for me or us as a family, but I do know that we need some close relationships with people who will " challenge us to seek God, either within or outside our church's walls"(thanks Kristen) I have become part of some relationships in my blogging community that are this way and I hope that I have as much to offer them, as well. I need this in my geographic community too though."

*******


"I want to learn how to love. How to guide people who want to be servants also. Not telling them what to do, but guiding/directing/challenging them."

I Cor. 3:7 - "So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow."

As much as my ego wants to be known as a success and a 'big-important person' i just hope that somehow we can spend our whole life-full-time 'pointing to God.'"

*******


My kids are so cool!!! Love 'em-Love 'em-Love 'em!!!

*******


"discipleship is the most effective method for evangelism under heaven."-brad

(ok that last one wasn't mine, but it is......true and the struggle i find myself in)

Friday, December 05, 2003

The Journey

I had a thought. Nope. It’s gone....Oh, there it is.

As far as I see that I have come as a whole person over the past 4 years or so I realize how much I still struggle with all things. When you are on drugs you don’t get real far growth wise. It was actually more like a backwards motion. In four years of being clean and trying to follow Christ I realize that I am still Scotty. I still struggle with stupid, petty things. I still am selfish. I still run thoughts around in my head and in my blog and get nowhere. It’s kinda like why I am bad at ‘Axis and Allies’ and chess. I know all the moves. I know the goal. I see the enemy. Though, in these games you have to be able to think moves ahead. I am no good at this. And I will forget 3 moves from now what my plan was. No good when you are trying to save the world from the tyranny of your brother-in-law. You have to be able to look at the board and know which way to go. I can’t in ’Axis and Allies’. I can in ’Risk’. Risk isn’t as complex. I need someone there during Axis and Allies to remind me what I’m doing. Someone who is better at looking further down the road. Someone to fill in the gaps where what I am good at isn’t good enough.

Kinda sounds like Church....

Any way, I forgot what I was saying....oh. I forget that what all I’ve been babbling about all this time in my blog....what it comes down to is that *I need discipled. I....we are not growing where we are at.* We realize it is not just about us and our needs, but about others in the church as well. About those who still have yet see the love of Christ. I truly believe that we will naturally grow in a more natural form of Church. The form of 'a small group on a journey together'. I look at how Christ discipled his followers and remember that it is not Christ that has changed, but the Church. I don’t feel I can help these specific people here at FBC until I have grown. I don’t know how to help them in this context right now. If I could ever have time to have coffee or set around a table with any of them to just converse and share life together....I believe there would be growth. Not mine or that persons doing, but Christ’s. No one takes time together. Except the one-third of the church that is all related to each other.(we live in a small town)

I get frustrated when my only link to the outside world is here. The web. Especially when I stop giving input or getting it from you.

I can’t wait to get to Indy and ’shake off our feet’. What we are doing here, to me, is exactly what Alan Creech was referring to as “rehashing ways of doing things, slightly reworking them and never really changing ” - and yes, that is insanity.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

a few thoughts

Ice covering everything this morning. It's a very cold 34°F. Mikah is a little sick. Pray it’s not the flu. We got the tree and lights put up last night, but the kids were too tired so we will put the ornaments on today.

I have such a beautiful family! :^)

I’ve spoken and thought so much about the second greatest commandment, “love your neighbor as yourself”, that I have neglected the first. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matt 22:37-40) I realize that my inability to be ANY good at the second one is my neglect of the relationship with my God. I’m just trying to take some one-on-one time there.

A few thoughts that are sticking around:

John 13:34 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. (it‘s not just as I love myself, but as Jesus loved me that I am to love others)

John 15:18-19 "If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you.” "If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you.”

Romans 12:1 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.

“bodies a living and holy sacrifice”.....service! Obviously that is in the practical context of this world. That is how Jesus did it.

In our fellowship with one another, our ‘community’, we have all forms of chances for service. All kinds of needs to be met on all different levels. We know that our church is to be inclusive and visible(visible doesn’t mean a larger steeple). - “not the righteous, but the sick” - Isn’t this worship? Worship is soooo much more than singing (Ps. 66:4) and lifting up our hands (Ps. 63:4). These are obviously good, but.......I think of John 13:35 which says "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." This would have to be visible. There would have to be service. It has to be practical to be understood and seen.

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Breaking News......

I am going to be taking a break from this space for a bit.

Might be an hour - might be a week - might be a month - might post another directly after this one - just feel like I need to stop talking and listen for a bit.....

Monday, December 01, 2003

Samaritans in the AIDS Crisis

A biblical parable offers important lessons about how Christians should respond to the global AIDS epidemic.

By Richard E. Stearns - President of World Vision
Two thousand years after Jesus gave the church the parable of the Good Samaritan, we are still asking the question, "Who is my neighbor?" And we’re still getting the answer wrong.

Jesus used this parable to challenge the religious establishment of His day. Today, the parable compels us to challenge our own community of faith, an American Church that is only belatedly responding to the AIDS pandemic, which last year alone killed 3 million people. Most of them were in Africa.

The lesson, which begins in Luke 10:25, answers one of the most profound questions in all of Scripture, asked in the story by an expert in the law: "Who is my neighbor?"

We find Jesus' answer in the actions of the four main characters: the victim, the priest, the Levite and the Samaritan.

The only thing we know for certain about the victim is that he was in dire need: beaten, wounded, bleeding, and possibly dying. We don't know why he was beaten. He may have been an "innocent" victim, unjustly attacked. He may have been a robber, beaten by fellow thieves. Jesus did not feel that it was relevant whether the man who had been beaten was at fault.

Today, as many as 46 million people are infected with the AIDS virus. In southern Africa, one in five adults is infected. If Jesus, in the parable of the Good Samaritan, did not distinguish between those who became victims because of sinful behavior and those who were innocent victims, should we? In truth, we are bound by Scripture to respond to all those beaten and left by the side of the road by this devastating virus.

Scripture makes clear who has the right and the responsibility to judge: It is God, not us. Yet we judge people with AIDS. We conveniently forget that we all would be dead if we faced such a certain death for any of our sins – including indifference to those who are suffering.

That sin, of course, is the only one Jesus condemns in the story of the Good Samaritan, and is embodied by the next two characters in the drama: the priest and the Levite. They represent the religious establishment of the day. We are told that they saw the man and yet they passed by on the other side of the road, unwilling to help. They knew what was right, but failed to act.

In 2002, World Vision commissioned a study through the Barna Research Group to determine the willingness of the Christian community to get involved in fighting the AIDS epidemic. When evangelical Christians were asked whether they would be willing to donate money to help children orphaned by AIDS, only 3 percent answered that they definitely would. More than half said that they probably or definitely would not help. The survey found that by many measures, non-Christians were more inclined to help. How should the Christian community respond to those affected by AIDS? The fourth character of Jesus' parable shows us.

The Samaritans were often despised by the Jews, and considered them heretical and unclean. Nevertheless, this Samaritan saw the man at the side of the road “and took pity on him." He bandaged his wounds and poured oil and wine upon them as a salve. He put the man on his own donkey, transported him to an inn, and left money for his care. And he promised to return to check up on the man again. It was not a minimal response. It was a complete engagement.

The Samaritans of the AIDS crisis seem just as unlikely to today's religious establishment: the homosexual community, Hollywood, political liberals, the U.S. government, the United Nations, secular humanitarian organizations, and even a rock star. Bono, lead singer of the group U2, has been a prophetic voice on AIDS. When addressing a group of Christians in Washington, Bono asked, "Will American Christians stand by as an entire continent dies for 'small money'?"

Years from now, the AIDS pandemic will be judged as one of those rare crossroads in human history, where everything that comes after it will be seen through its lens. Every generation struggles with events and crises that ultimately define it. Every generation has its sins – of commission and omission. The lens of history can be brutally honest in its judgment.

How could American pioneers justify their treatment of Native Americans? How could pre-Civil-War America have tolerated slavery? How could churches in America have turned a blind eye to racial discrimination in the '40s and '50s? And how can the American church, with all its resources and influence, fail to respond proportionally to the greatest problem facing the world?

I am certain that God expects His people to act, not remain silent. I am certain that God sees these widows and orphans as our neighbors, lying beaten and bleeding on the side of the road, helpless and needing our help. And I am certain that He calls us to stop, show compassion, comfort them, bind up their wounds and see that they and their children are cared for.

How? By advocating for right theology in our churches and right policies by our government. By praying for people with AIDS, for the children they leave behind, and for their caregivers. By volunteering with local organizations serving people affected by HIV/AIDS. And by supporting our brothers and sisters in Africa and elsewhere in their efforts to stop this epidemic and care for those whose lives already have been shattered.

Jesus ends the Parable of the Good Samaritan with a powerful challenge. When He asked the expert in the law which of the three men had been a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers, he answers with a new understanding: "The one who had mercy on him."

Jesus then looks at this man and concludes what is perhaps the most powerful moral teaching in all of history with a command of just four words. "Go and do likewise."
found this @ Beliefnet

"Day Without Blogs"

"Five people worldwide die of AIDS every minute of every day. HIV has hit every corner of the globe, infecting more than 42 million men, women and children, 5 million of them last year alone." - worldaidsday.org

"A tragedy of unprecedented proportions is unfolding in Africa. Aids today in Africa is claiming more lives than the sum total of all wars, famines and floods and the ravages of such deadly diseases as Malaria"

"We must act now for the sake of the world"

"Aids is no longer a disease it is a human rights issue"

Nelson Mandela – International AIDS Conference – Paris