Making Sense of Church--Tour Guide to Traveler (pg.36)

"In seminary, I'd been instructed to not be vulnerable. Under no circumstance were pastors supposed to let their emotions get out of control. Your support system was supposed to be other pastors in the community and people outside of your congregation. You weren't supposed to break down in the pulpit or expose you weak, frail reality. And although they'd never said it, I was pretty sure the same rules applied for a weekend retreat.

In many ways, the strategies I learned as a tram driver in Sacramento were the same ones preached by my professors in seminary. Keep it moving. Stay on track. Follow the script. Don't deviate from the route. Don't get too close to people. These are the keys to a bright, secure future. Bawling like a baby definitely was not on the itinerary."

In my wandering, "what does scotty want to be when he grows up?" and our feeling lead to this old/new way of ministry/Church--that of the 'emergent/house Church' variety---and the anticipation of another beautiful child, a question keeps popping into mind. Should I go to school? In being a follower of Jesus i am more a fisherman than a doctor. I am a simple person with a simple mind. Uneducated. I don't want to be a CEO or a doctor or a lawyer or anything else that I can think of. We feel lead to lead a more missional life as a family. One of risk. And trust.

In wanting to be servants/leaders/fellow journeymen and women in this new paradigm or 'wineskin' is formal schooling needed? I read of seminaries and comments from folks who were taught not to rock the boat and i am reluctant to even consider going to college for ministry. I've heard that they primarily teach you to 'find a church'. I want to learn to 'plant' them. I want to learn to be a 'gardener'.

I've just realized that maybe part of my frustration comes from wanting to be someone big and important. Part of me, i think, wants the position or a title. But no thanks! I am a fellow traveler and i want to stay that way. There was a sign in town that read, "Leadership is action not position." I need to be kicked in the butt when i am gettin lazy. I need to be taught, by example and hands on, to love those who are very different than me. To answer the tough questions. I am horrible at starting conversations. I could learn to do that better. I like to stay in my little hole and be separate from people---they scare me. I need someone or a group of them to guide me out of my shell that i can get out there and mingle with the ugly, dirty, least of these, not so different from you and I kind of people. I can't reach them in our Church building and I can not reach them sitting here.

I want to learn how to love. How to guide people who want to be servants also. Not telling them what to do, but guiding/directing/challenging them.

I Cor. 3:7 - "So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow."

As much as my ego wants to be known as a success and a 'big-important person' i just hope that somehow we can spend our whole life-full-time "pointing to God."

If i were a big-important person i would probably be a prick anyway. And probably only ever point to God in my words. You would never want to sit down and share a meal with me. Let alone life.

I guess this post kinda evolved, huh? How should we go about education or training if we are considering be part of God's Church planting movement that is going on today? Do groups like Dawn and ECN work with those who do not have formal education? What traits and skills are needed to be successful in this? I do not see a roadmap.

Sippin on a nice cold chai tea latte. I just discovered this about a week ago and it is wonderful!

I finally picked up Spencer Burke's Making Sense of Church yesterday. Heather has to work tonight and I have tomorrow off so I think I will stay up and read it all before hitting the bed. I also ordered Paul's Idea of Community by Robert Banks. Should be in in a few days.

time to go to the grocery store.....

I'm sorry i have not posted for a few. I have been lost in my thoughts and emotions these past days. Watching my children and enjoying them as a blessing from God. Where we would be if it were not for them. To think that in a year there will be another little one who we will not be able to imagine our lives without. The joys and trials of being a parent. Of being a servant and follower of God. Being a child myself.

My mother read to us Malachi 3:3-"He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

I was discussing with Heather some thoughts and worries about moving and Dallas. I have allowed my worries to come in and take over the place where my faith should be residing. I have gotten to the point a few times of even asking, "why are we doing this again?" There will be so many trials. We will be left with no choice, but to rely on God to provide. For my little family, especially now expecting a new addition, to move to Dallas is a really big freakin' thing. We make very little money. Neither of us really have any marketable skills. I have only ever worked unskilled labor jobs. We will be going down there to 'track' God. To immerse ourselves in what God is doing down there. My mum reminded me that 'this' has all been lead by God. Things have come about the way they have by his hands. We have come to the place we are at now as a result of trying to follow his leading in our lives. THIS is what is put before us to do. We have nothing to offer, but our love of Christ and our sometimes 'weak kneed' willingness to follow Him.

Anyway, my mom read this email she received to us. It was about a woman's conversation with a silversmith:

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and LET IT HEAT UP.

He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked him if it was true that he had to sit in front of the fire the whole! time the silver was being refined. The man answered yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy - when I see my image in it."

I began to weep at some point through this. A flood of tears. I had lost site of the love and grace that my Father has for us. I have been soooo worried about the trials that i have forgotten the purpose. I have forgotten that our Father is here holding us in his hands and that He is not going to take His eyes off of us.

We are not fire proof. We are being refined. It burns a bit. It will probably only get hotter, but our daddy is here watching us. And we wait for the day when we hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Much to think about, but that is for another day.

***YEA!!***

Well, everyone, an announcement........Heather's pregnant!!!! How freakin' cool is that?! The Lord sees it good to bless us with another little-one!!!! Yea!!! I wish you could all see the smile on my face!!! My cheeks hurt!!!

Redefined evangelism favors gentler approach of nonbelievers
The Dallas Morning News

"The term evangelism conjures up images of sales pitches, manipulation, arguments – all the things we don't want people to do to us," said Jim Henderson, a former self-professed faith healer in Seattle who organizes conferences to train evangelicals. "When you answer the phone at 6 p.m., and it's a telemarketer, the discomfort you feel is the same feeling most people get when they have to witness or when they're witnessed to."

Mr. Henderson is co-founder of Off the Map, a ministry established to help Christians connect with nonbelievers (or, as they're described on Off the Map's Web site, "the people formerly known as lost"). He advises evangelicals to focus not on closing the sale for God, but on the needs of the unconverted.

"There is something hopeful about knowing that God likes you, that God cares about you," he said. "That's the message we are called to preach. And we do it by having coffee with people, asking them how they're doing, focusing our attention on them."

Defining success

A measure of the method's success, he and others said, is whether evangelism helps the believer and the nonbeliever become better human beings.

Feelin’ kinda’ like Kristen did the other Day.

Sometimes I wish I was more apathetic about some of my issues with the Church.(realize they are not mine alone) I wish I could just set back in my pew in some church building and believe that this is it. This is what Christ had in mind.

Now, I know the Church will never be perfect while we are all here on this earth with sin so prevalent. But to sit back and never strive for it….to never ask questions….tough questions, is to say we have reached maturity as the Church.

Because of where Heather and I are at right now we have questions about leaving our local Church. Are we leaving and giving up on working towards unity? Are we leaving because we can’t find anyone to listen? Have we tried real hard to find them? Or, is it that we realize that we are restricted in our growth here and God is calling us to continue to grow? I think that’s it….

We want to discuss our questions and yours and be able to tell our story. Sometimes I wander what that is for lack of telling it….

So many people here wander if we are going to Texas to join a cult. They don’t use the word ‘cult’, but it’s what they mean. I understand their concern. I am skeptical of new things. We pray for discernment. “Do they have a preacher?” “Do they have a mother-church to ‘govern’ over them?” “What do you mean there is no building?” - These are some of the many questions people are asking us. Why does no one ask, “do they love God?” or “do they love their neighbors?”? I think everyone is really asking “do they do things the way we do?”

You should see the look on peoples’ faces when I bring up a small group meeting in a bar. “What will people think?”, they ask. I ask, “What did people think of Jesus hangin’ out with prostitutes and tax collectors?”

I have realized the manner in which I have been speaking about the [traditional] Church is the same way people have been speaking to us about the ‘emergent’ Church. Or whatever we’re calling it. Pointing fingers and telling each other we’re wrong is not unity and it is definitely a waste of time. Oh,……..but we should never stop asking questions for fear of rocking the boat. Just like looking for new ways to do leadership that will not do away with it, but at the same time allow for more growth and discipleship, we need to ask these questions while at the same time not causing division. I am aware that there will always be disagreement with some folks. Heather and I do not always agree, but we MUST find a way to move forward together in unity.

For days now, I’ve almost been looking for reasons not to go to Dallas. We’ve had so much time to sit and worry and question, but Mark is right, there are “no promises and no guarantees.” But God had directed us here. He might change our direction, but I will not. He must do it.

We like what we see going on in Austin and Dallas and across this country and Europe. We do not see it happening around us at all, though. It needs to be. There are some people asking questions and having this conversation in Indianapolis, but we feel we could learn from what is going on in Texas.

We are afraid, but we can not set back and do nothing about all those people out there in this “Christian Nation” who are not being reached. We are uneducated, blue-collar workers who have seen very little of God’s world and the diversity of His peoples. We want to learn and grow and love. I am not artistic and I don’t know many big words. In fact, I often have a dictionary by my side when reading articles and books on the ‘emergent’ Church and postmodernity. We are a simple little family from a little red-neck town in Indiana, but we are children of God who want to be in on this conversation and feel God’s calling us to get involved. We know not what will come of us, but we believe it will be good things in our following Christ on this wonderful journey of ours.

Do not allow us to become apathetic. We need your prayers and support and we need to keep hearing from all of you that we will remain following Christ’s movement in His Church in this ever changing world.

What a wonderful opportunity to serve a God who allows us to do some of the work……….

Heather let me sleep in till 6:30 this morning and we took advantage of having our new baby-sitter, who the kids just love, and dropped the kids off so mommy and daddy could have a day ALONE together. Well, a few hours anyway. This hasn't happened in months. For real. We actually got to go out and have a wonderful lunch together in Lafayette....ALONE! It was so nice to just be able to sit and talk about anything and not be interrupted by screaming or crying or any thing setting around that would remind us of something we needed to do. It was nice to get away and just enjoy eachother's presence for a few hours.

Heather and I have realized we do not spend enough time together in prayer and study of scripture. We really need to work on this and get in the habit of doing this as a team a little more so or better that we have been. We've got big changes coming up and we need to make sure we are in constant contact with the Man upstairs as a team and a family. We have all kinds of things we see that we need to work on as individuals and a couple and as parents and we are so happy that we have eachother to have as a companion for this journey.

Heather is a blessing from God in my life and in the lives of our children and she's not afraid to give me a swift kick in the rump when I need it. I love you my sweets! Thank you for always keeping this space cadet grounded.

I have realized a big cause for my frustration of late. I think, ingrained in me somewhere, there is the idea that I am not serving the Lord unless I am involved in some project or program.

..........it's just about loving my neighbor and my God. Isn't it?

I also hope never to stop having a deep longing to see unity in His Body. I believe there was a spontaneous simplicity in the early Church that would help in these matters today.

Just want to say that i love my wifey poo. (or is that wifie poo) Hmm...and no i'm not in trouble. just wanted to say so.

I believe Satan loves the fact that I’ve been griping about the Church. He loves it that I have gotten sooo frustrated with it that I have not been to church for a number of weeks. Now we have been able to converse with other believers here and there, but we have really just separated ourselves from the local church we had been attending.

I began to feel stale there. Lonely. Lost in the structure of it all. (Satan might enjoy my griping, but what he doesn’t understand is that I am not turning my back on the Body of Christ) What I am trying to do is find my place in it. The structure of it all has left me in my pew watching the show. I was on the missions and outreach committee for a spell…..”If you want to kill any idea in the world today, get a committee working on it.”-C.F. Kettering
I had been asked to be on the committee after a hand full of people heard the fire in my voice about missions. God had placed on my heart a desire to reach the lost. I think this should be a desire for all Christians, but anyway…after a bit of looking around and just a few conversations and websites and articles I realized that ‘missions’ is not what it use to be. At least not what I was brought up thinking it was. I pictured some couple in the jungles of Africa with some guy with a spear sitting and eating grub worms. I realized that the place of the western missionaries had changed a bit and many were now focusing on tent-making. Not that this is a new thing. Anyway, after some more looking around and getting more on fire for the unreached and my attempts at having conversations with people in my church and my beginning to look at my local church and look at the church of the New Testament I began to notice some serious shortcomings. Not that I all of a sudden felt like I am walking the perfect walk, but it’s like I look around in the PEWS and see, for the most part, the same people there that were there when I was 10. When I was 5. What has changed? What growth has there been?! I don’t just mean in number. Who has been discipled and by whom?! They’ve changed the terminology from ‘committees’ to ‘teams’, but it’s still the same problems. It’s just too difficult to serve in this context!!! And I am not talking about serving coffee and juice in our sorry 15 minute excuse for fellowship. What I’m talking about is the fact that I can’t get anyone to listen to me about the idea of meeting in each other’s homes. Breaking bread together. And what about those places “where Jesus would be if he were here?” IF he were here!? Chshh!!! Why can’t we, as the Church, a hand full of us meet in a bar to reach those who meet in the bars? We live in a small town and that’s about what we got for entertainment. Why not, when we are meeting together in our homes for a “love feast”, why not invite someone from work or a neighbor or a friend who wont come to the church building? “Where two or more are gathered in my name…” Sounds like Church to me! And what if, hey I found out Monticello Christian Church are going to have a number of home group gatherings, what if we began meeting in their homes and they in ours? Looking past our differences and working towards and through that Unity in Christ? We are One Body aren’t we? What if more Church’s got involved? Some more unchurched folks? Basically just starting out with fellowship and then letting the Lord lead from there!? He’s going to be there! (sigh)

Our town has around 6,000 people. In the community we have 40 some Church’s. Lot’s of organizations, but no organism. Nothing alive and growing. Why can’t we do this? Because you tried meeting in homes before and it fell apart? You tried ecumenical gatherings? The outcome was awful?………………TRY AGAIN!!!!!

I see a pattern of too much organization and not enough love and fellowship!! This is my problem. I want to say we need some good old fashion discipleship, but really I’ve never seen it before.

A quote from brad I stole from Andrew’s blog(hope ya’ll don’t mind): "Brad: okay, a rant. here comes: i think c. peter wagner's famous statement is not so true as american christians would like to think. i think a better phrase these days would be "discipleship is the most effective method for evangelism under heaven." church planting and the growing of capable leaders are both a byproduct of discipleship, so why don't we start with the "real" thing, which is discipleship? i hear a lotta people out there complaining about the lack of leadership in their (traditional and/or transition) churches, but then, it doesn't look like they have holistic discipleship either. so why should they expect they'd have any leaders raised up from within? they're performing and creating spectators still."

At some point the curtain was pulled and I realized I was sitting in an audience. Everyone else is still watching the show. I don’t want to be an actor soo…..what shall I do? There are people out there who need us to represent Christ here on Earth…..if I can’t learn to reach them inside the “cinema” where do I go to learn? Thoughts of fellowship, many meals, kitchen tables and couches come to mind. Maybe even a few coffee shops…I love coffee. I want to be real, relevant and I want to meet you eye to eye. I believe this is what we are to see going on the in early Church and His Church today. I don’t. I can’t get anyone to listen to me here yet, not that I plan to shut up. Souls are at stake and all. I have a right to be frustrated and a right to go and look for those who will listen to me and for those who want to see Christ Kingdom at work here on Earth. Those who don’t just want to ‘see’ it, but be a part of it. I’m not sure what our place is, but I believe it is in the Kingdom of Heaven and somewhere around yours and our kitchen table.

Tea for two and two for tea. Whose the Church? It’s you and me. Hmm hmm hmmm hmm……Satan hates this song of ours. Hee hee!

Does anyone have any articles, papers, audio, links or whatever from Thom Wolf they could direct me to?

***happy birthday to andrew!!!***

church sucks

i just got done reading John O'keefe's "10 reasons why your church sucks" from the Ooze. (yes i realize it's an old article, but hey i'm new to this conversation) All i have to say is, "yep!". That about says it for the church i have attended for most of my life. That is why we do not 'go'.

I have really been lost in my head and frustrated lately due to the change. We refuse to do Church this way any longer. I'm not going to sit and argue about it. We will help to change things by our lives, our story and our conversation. Right now I'm just frustrated with it and we do not feel like cutting through a bunch of red-tape just to get nowhere. We need conversation and fellowship with other believers though. We feel kinda lonely right now. (i feel we have the right and i am learning to be thankful for this period of change, growth and uncertainty-i know we will learn to serve Him better because of it)

A confession....i really have been frustrated to the point of being short tempered lately and it really, really, really sucked. Grouchy with the kids and Heather. I felt like an awful person. I realized that with all the uncertainty about the changes now and those soon to come i talked about giving it to God, but i set and worried about it as though i had not. I tried to figure things out within my own understanding and it is just not going to work like that. And i have just not been able to set and enjoy the day. I spoke a while back about doing that, but i just was not successful. I have given all this to the Lord and I am enjoying the simple stuff now. I actually got to set and enjoy a sunrise yesterday. Very nice! I thought about how it was also setting on someone else’s day who has all sorts of struggles going on. I thanked God for the moment. What usually seems ordinary doesn't seem quite so ordinary when you try and look at it from God's eyes.

down to one vehicle

We got rid of the mini-van last night. Heather and i had discussed putting it on eBay, but we found out that my Aunt and Uncle were in need of another vehicle so we gave it to them. I think i feel better about that than getting a check in the mail. The back window was still covered in plastic from it being shot out by a couple of teenage kids and a bb-gun. We wished we had money to fix that before we gave it to them, but the thing runs great and a couple hundred on a new back window is a whole lot cheaper than buying a new vehicle. We hope it serves them well.

There's a new Jonny on the blog......a new Jonny Baker that is.

Any suggested reading from anyone?-Whether books or articles or t-shirts

My kids are so cool!!! Love 'em-Love 'em-Love 'em!!! My, almost 2 year-old, daughter Kiara started calling Mikah 'Buddy' this weekend. She has also started saying 'Yah! Cool!'. Mikah is just a little version of me which isn't so cool sometimes. It can be down right aggravating actually. We're having a bit of a problem with him mouthing off and of course always wanting to get the last word, but we'll just keep lovin' him cause he's MY little buddy. He's four and I don't know what we would do without him in our lives. The two of us have kinda gotten frustrated with eachother here lately, but we love eachother so much and I just get frustrated cause I want him to be the best he can be, but he just doesn't listen. I can tell he knows when I'm really frustrated cause he'll come up and love on me and tell me he'll take care of me. Love them both sooooooooooo much....just a little frustrated at not being the perfect Dad and growth being such a slow and painful process for me.

‘Survivor Recession’ to air soon

George W. Bush, John Ashcroft and 18 other politicians have signed a contract for a new reality TV show.

The show, Survivor Recession, will be filmed in Indianapolis. The contestants will work at an unskilled job and survive solely on that income.

Happy Birthday to Kristen!!!