"In seminary, I'd been instructed to not be vulnerable. Under no circumstance were pastors supposed to let their emotions get out of control. Your support system was supposed to be other pastors in the community and people outside of your congregation. You weren't supposed to break down in the pulpit or expose you weak, frail reality. And although they'd never said it, I was pretty sure the same rules applied for a weekend retreat.
In many ways, the strategies I learned as a tram driver in Sacramento were the same ones preached by my professors in seminary. Keep it moving. Stay on track. Follow the script. Don't deviate from the route. Don't get too close to people. These are the keys to a bright, secure future. Bawling like a baby definitely was not on the itinerary."
In my wandering, "what does scotty want to be when he grows up?" and our feeling lead to this old/new way of ministry/Church--that of the 'emergent/house Church' variety---and the anticipation of another beautiful child, a question keeps popping into mind. Should I go to school? In being a follower of Jesus i am more a fisherman than a doctor. I am a simple person with a simple mind. Uneducated. I don't want to be a CEO or a doctor or a lawyer or anything else that I can think of. We feel lead to lead a more missional life as a family. One of risk. And trust.
In wanting to be servants/leaders/fellow journeymen and women in this new paradigm or 'wineskin' is formal schooling needed? I read of seminaries and comments from folks who were taught not to rock the boat and i am reluctant to even consider going to college for ministry. I've heard that they primarily teach you to 'find a church'. I want to learn to 'plant' them. I want to learn to be a 'gardener'.
I've just realized that maybe part of my frustration comes from wanting to be someone big and important. Part of me, i think, wants the position or a title. But no thanks! I am a fellow traveler and i want to stay that way. There was a sign in town that read, "Leadership is action not position." I need to be kicked in the butt when i am gettin lazy. I need to be taught, by example and hands on, to love those who are very different than me. To answer the tough questions. I am horrible at starting conversations. I could learn to do that better. I like to stay in my little hole and be separate from people---they scare me. I need someone or a group of them to guide me out of my shell that i can get out there and mingle with the ugly, dirty, least of these, not so different from you and I kind of people. I can't reach them in our Church building and I can not reach them sitting here.
I want to learn how to love. How to guide people who want to be servants also. Not telling them what to do, but guiding/directing/challenging them.
I Cor. 3:7 - "So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow."
As much as my ego wants to be known as a success and a 'big-important person' i just hope that somehow we can spend our whole life-full-time "pointing to God."
If i were a big-important person i would probably be a prick anyway. And probably only ever point to God in my words. You would never want to sit down and share a meal with me. Let alone life.
I guess this post kinda evolved, huh? How should we go about education or training if we are considering be part of God's Church planting movement that is going on today? Do groups like Dawn and ECN work with those who do not have formal education? What traits and skills are needed to be successful in this? I do not see a roadmap.
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