I'm sorry i have not posted for a few. I have been lost in my thoughts and emotions these past days. Watching my children and enjoying them as a blessing from God. Where we would be if it were not for them. To think that in a year there will be another little one who we will not be able to imagine our lives without. The joys and trials of being a parent. Of being a servant and follower of God. Being a child myself.

My mother read to us Malachi 3:3-"He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

I was discussing with Heather some thoughts and worries about moving and Dallas. I have allowed my worries to come in and take over the place where my faith should be residing. I have gotten to the point a few times of even asking, "why are we doing this again?" There will be so many trials. We will be left with no choice, but to rely on God to provide. For my little family, especially now expecting a new addition, to move to Dallas is a really big freakin' thing. We make very little money. Neither of us really have any marketable skills. I have only ever worked unskilled labor jobs. We will be going down there to 'track' God. To immerse ourselves in what God is doing down there. My mum reminded me that 'this' has all been lead by God. Things have come about the way they have by his hands. We have come to the place we are at now as a result of trying to follow his leading in our lives. THIS is what is put before us to do. We have nothing to offer, but our love of Christ and our sometimes 'weak kneed' willingness to follow Him.

Anyway, my mom read this email she received to us. It was about a woman's conversation with a silversmith:

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and LET IT HEAT UP.

He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked him if it was true that he had to sit in front of the fire the whole! time the silver was being refined. The man answered yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy - when I see my image in it."

I began to weep at some point through this. A flood of tears. I had lost site of the love and grace that my Father has for us. I have been soooo worried about the trials that i have forgotten the purpose. I have forgotten that our Father is here holding us in his hands and that He is not going to take His eyes off of us.

We are not fire proof. We are being refined. It burns a bit. It will probably only get hotter, but our daddy is here watching us. And we wait for the day when we hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant."