"Over and over, the Rule calls us to be more mindful of the little things, even as it reminds us of the big picture, allowing us a glimpse of who we can be when we remember to love." - pg. 7 The Cloister Walk

I've been thinking about who I am. About needing or not needing to be "relevant". About what being "saved" is. About the pain that comes with losing someone you love that you have never met.

I became a drug addict @ 17. AFTER being "saved" @ 15. If I had not turned back to reach-out for Christ a few years back, to trust in Him again DAY AFTER DAY, this recent loss would have broken me.

I am selfish. If Christ was not in me I could not love. If I did not try and learn from his life I would not know how. In losing a child I have wanted to be angry. "Why us?"--- "What was the purpose of it all?" -- "This *#@&?!$ sucks!" -- "What now?" If I did not love as I do I would have remained angry. I would have been a shadow of myself. Because of Christ and His love and being His disciple I realized that I could not remain angry. I would not have treated my children like the blessings that they are. I would have not been a loving husband and friend to my wife. I would have given up on trying to live a missional life because I would have said, "what's the point?".

I still hurt, but knowing this child is with God and realizing we are still here..........we must move forward. We must ask what we are to learn from this situation and being followers of Christ we must ask what we can learn of Him. We have realized that other's who choose to follow Him day after day, his disciples, have been the biggest blessing and testament of what salvation means in the here and now. You all may not be a 'gathered' church, but you are His Church and you have blessed us beyond measure with you words, your petitions to God, your open doors, lives, hearts...refrigerators and your wallets. It is not a common thing for people to live as we all are choosing to live---For each other, knowing that it is for Christ as well.

We are already moving on with our lives, yes we still hurt, but it is not because we do not care it is because we love. We love and are loved. It's because of Christ. It's because of Christ in you.

This is HOPE! This is RELEVANT! This is CHURCH!

This is SCOTTY!