"Oh, what a miserable person I am!"

For months now I have been looking for this billboard or sign from God telling me what he wants me to do w/ my life. And also, some ideology or way of doing worship that was one-size-fits-all. I have realized through the work of the Holy Spirit and friends, here and abroad, the error of my ways. I have neglected to realize God's presence right here right now. I had been neglecting my family a bit too.

God has spoken to me through Exodus 3:1-4 and said, "BE STILL! While you are tending to your family I am there, I will speak to you. Just be still and say, 'Here, I am'." Now it may not be a burning bush through which he speaks to me so I do pray that he helps me to stay aware of his presence at all times. In all things.

I have been reconcile w/ God and w/ my family. I would also like to apologize to those of you who I have emailed and asked question after question in search of the "magic answer". Andrew, Sarah and Bruce, you have all told me that I need to be content where I am at. I don't know why I didn't get this at first. I thought I did.....but I kept searching. You have been dear friends to me and I thank you.

Forgive me father for forgetting that you have the power. That all things will be done in your time. Forgive me for my arrogance. Forgive me for not staying focused on you. Forgive me for not loving those around me as I should. May I be still and let You move, that your glory may shine through. Use me Father, as you will. Help me to remember that I am forgiven and not beat myself up over this so that I may move forward. May you get me off of the bottle so I can begin to eat meat Father.

Amen